except for my brother joseph who is taking a nap in our living room, my sons, my sister nano and i are still wide awake.
are we really waiting for 12 o’ clock or do we have to blame it on a lot of sweets and sodas that we have taken since dinner time? whichever it is, nano and i are like little children also waiting for the big and small hands of the clock to strike 12. then, we’ll be joining my three sons in their most awaited time — opening of gifts under the christmas tree.
among my three sons, it’s lancelot who’s been very excited to find out what he got for this year. receiving some holiday presents from his adoptive titas and titos from san beda, he is sure to have more gifts to open. well, my twins will never feel envious nor jealous of this. seeing their youngest brother’s excitement and happiness makes them remember their own time when they were his age. they had the same experience and they knew they are all blessed to be receiving gifts from people who have continuously cared for them.
personally, i believe christmas is for children. this is the season that they get to prove a kin’s or a friend’s love for them shallow it may be for equating this affection with material things. christmas is also the time that they have proven that santa claus really exists every time their hung christmas stockings are filled with what they wished for when they wake up in the morning.
funny, but never did i believe in santa claus. yes, i heard and sang songs about him when i was still a kid, i also watched movies about him, but really, i knew he did not exist. i couldn’t pinpoint a concrete reason right away for this but as i am writing this entry, i tried doing a quick trip to my childhood days just for me to back up this piece of information about me. and luckily, i found a couple of proofs.
partly, it has something to do with how our parents oriented us. the way i remember it, we were brought up in a family where we had to know as young as we were what is real and what is not. in a way, we were not taught to believe something that we would soon find out as not being true. in fact, i do not even remember my parents frightening us about momo, kapre, aswang, and all those blood-sucking creatures just to make us sleep or behave well. digging deeper, my not believing about SC is my not receiving gifts (wrapped gifts at that!) when i was a child (same as my youngest son’s age) from siblings, relatives and even friends. my parents are the only source of these gifts. christmas presents would mean having a new dress or a new pair of shoes, or a toy. eating more than one red crunchy apple for a day would be a euphoria for me. well, having all these four would only happen during this season.
backing up my belief on the non-existence of this fat man in red suit and back boots was my wishing for gifts that was not granted at all…even once. then, michael jackson’s “i saw mommy kissing santa claus” hit song went on the airwaves. it confirmed my hunch that i would never see a sleigh being pulled by reindeer led by rudolph, and nobody would be entering and exiting a chimney (anyway, we didn’t have one in our house in bicol…hahaha!) so as not to be caught bringing gifts.
i may sound like grinch or ebenezer scrooge in my not believing in one of the christmas symbols, but i have cited my reasons. they are mine. as of now, i have no plan of influencing my own children whether they believe or not on this well loved figure. i am sure, they will soon find out or may be they have already found out the truth behind him. wait… my twins are already 14 years old. don’t tell me they still believe in santa? as for lancelot, i think he still does. he might not hang a big sock nor wish for a christmas gift, but he once reacted to my statement “i do not like santa claus.” he reprimanded me, “bad ka naman, nanay. bakit ayaw mo po si santa claus?” i replied, “basta.” i did not elaborate and he did not insist for my explanation. i was thankful. it was better that way.
now, you know why i am as excited as my sons for the opening of gifts. i did not experience this feeling long long time ago.
you should see me at this moment. excitement is etched all over my face like a child.
i know santa claus will not be one of my givers, but there is a big possibility that someone out there has granted my wish.
the clock is ticking…
got to end this article now and position myself to dig for my gifts!
it’s a merry christmas for wj.
i hope it is to you, too!