autonomy

surprising…but after more than six months of looking for a new househelp, our family has decided not to hire anymore.

more surprising was that i supported the decision which was expressed by my twin sons who were lucky to be looked after by different  ate  (the longest was their ate gigi who served us for 10 years, half of it was to them) for 13 years. i think this decision is the result of being able to adjust to the set-up that we have been having since the time my husband left for his overseas work last september. we are doing it the westernized way in our house (see related story at http://wanderingjouster..com/2012/10/02/gines-training-camp/ ‎).

without a househelp, we have to do division of labor. of course, being the mother i take charge of the major jobs like marketing, cooking and house management. laundry and pressing of clothes are done by a stay-out help who is paid monthly. feeding the three dogs, dishwashing , housecleaning, watering the plants, folding the dry clothes, etc. are done in-turns by all of us three. lucky for my youngest son, lancelot, because he is only assigned to do very minor chores like sweeping the floor and the yard and setting the table every meal time. sometimes, he can be requested to assist in the folding of clothes.

everything has become routinary. so far, the first problem that we had was providing a companion for lancelot (who attends the afternoon session) everytime that i would report to san beda college on tuesdays and thursdays. since nobody could be requested to be him when i leave the house, the solution that we came up with was to let the driver drop him at the college building around 8:30 a.m. and stay there until he’d be fetched by the school service before 11:00 a.m. in my very short break before my next class, i had to go to the faculty room and checked on him. thanks to my colleagues-friends, they have been very accommodating to my son, who is already a visible figure in the faculty center on tth. everytime the conductor entered the faculty center, the assistant secretary would call him the way he would to all the teachers. my knight is treated just like one of us! this is now the third week of the second semester and the way i see it, everyone in the college has gotten used to seeing a grade schooler among the professors.

the first time i brought lancelot to the faculty center, i felt i  became thick skinned. i was ready to be called for any reprimand or reminder from my superiors. luckily, they understood my situation. knowing that some of my colleagues (even the vice-dean!) had also done it, eased my worry and feeling of insensitivity. i released a deep sigh of relief.

you might be wondering why my twins had opted not to hire a househelp (whom i also called my “angel”). your wonder was verbally expressed by me last night.

simple reasons. they are already grown-up. likewise, they reasoned out that the new maid might not be as honest as their last ate carol. i tried reasoning out, too, why we need a househelp. i told them that we need someone  to look after the house when all of us are in school and to cook our meals especially breakfast and dinner.  arthur, the older of the twins, had this to say to me for the latter reason that i pointed out: “nanay, nakakapagluto na naman po kayo at mas gusto ko po ang luto ninyo.” this answer stopped whatever i was about to say and convinced me that we really don’t need a maid now. i felt how my sons value whatever i do for them as a MOTHER.

when lancelot and i arrived in our house later this afternoon, i texted my three siblings in bicol. i informed  them about our decision and told them not to look for prospective maids anymore. they were all happy and impressed with it. long, my eldest brother told me that at least i wouldn’t anymore experience what he had for a month. having to hire new maids one after the other, and later on being robbed by them. olen, my eldest sister, called our last maid’s decision to leave as a blessing. for her, it was already high time that i show appreciation to my children’s support in the house chores. obet , my sister whom i would always disturb to look for a maid, is the happiest. she also added that it’s really difficult to have a new member in the household.

with all these positive reactions, i knew that we had done what we think is best for us.

now, i do not have to worry about another person in our house. with this decision, which was supported by my husband all the way, i can be assured that my sons will grow up into responsible and independent individuals who will never be afraid to battle it out with life’s adversities.