It’s Been A Year…

“Test of faith…manifestation of great love…life’s irony…my realizations as we undergo this trial. Just sharing.”

I sent this message to a friend at exactly 3:02 pm, November 16 of last year the day my sister-in-law, Sheila May Samson-Mediavillo, suffered from a cardiac arrest and was declared clinically dead. This message has stayed in my phone ever since.
One year. So fast…
Today, we  gathered to commemorate the first death anniversary of  Joseph’s beloved wife.
she7
Have we all moved on? Has my brother moved on?
As I looked at the faces of She’s own family, siblings, and close friends, I could not be so sure what they were undergoing. We can always wear a facade making it impossible for someone to know what we truly feel.
Smiles, giggles, laughter, guffaw…the invitees exchanged these before and after saying the rosary and offering prayers for the eternal repose of She’s soul. So private that despite the unavailability of a priest to say the mass at three o’ clock this afternoon, we expressed our love to She by simply being there.
with yula, my eldest brother 's eldest and only daughter
With Yula, my eldest brother’s eldest and only daughter
with my nieces and knight
With my nieces and Knight
My family, sister Nano, and three nieces were joined by Nonoy (Joseph’s nickname in the family) at the table during the early dinner. I waited if my sister would start a conversation about Sheila. She didn’t. I also did not dare.
What question does a sister ask to a brother whom I am sure has continued longing for his wife’s embrace, his wife’s kisses, and his wife’s endearments?
I have no idea.
That fatal day when I rushed to the emergency room of the University of Perpetual Help Hospital, I could only offer my shoulders to Joseph to cry on. He became so powerless seeing someone so alive in the morning and later on be lying on her deathbed. Everything was so sudden…he was not ready to see her go.
“She’s my life. I do not know what to do without her…” dialogs which I thought could only be heard in  movies and soap operas. I cried as my brother cried.  It crushed my heart seeing my brother be in so much pain, yet I could not do anything to ease his own suffering. 
Each day, as She was in the ICU, we continued hanging on. We all  prayed for miracles. None came. The more it tested our faith. We know, the Lord has always His reasons for everything.
As I looked back to those trying times, I could not help but be emotional. This is my part which I hate, but this is always a good reminder for me that I am  still existing and susceptible to human frailties.
I miss She, but it’s nothing compared to how my brother and their daughter feel. Her living us left a void in each one of us, but I  know she didn’t like us to feel this way. Being a fun-loving person, She would want us to continue whatever we have been doing and enjoy LIFE.
nano s and my last photo with shei and nonoy
Nano’s and my last photo with She and Nonoy
These are my thoughts tonight.

And as I end this article, I silently offer a prayer not only for She but for all of us who were touched and taught by her how to love unconditionally. 

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15 thoughts on “It’s Been A Year…

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  1. i noticed the first entries were in 2011 and you didn’t bother to share this personal blog!

    anyways, I don’t know what caught me in this November entry—maybe I was just always interested with thoughts on the year ” that was”, those eventful days and months that covered that year or what have you…but when I started my reading it wasn’t what I was expecting at all. Although LIFE and DEATH are realities, there’s always a rejection of the latter. It’s one great thing celebrating life and one great challenge of faith losing one.

    Sorry to hear about this sad news friend. Joseph is indirectly a part of the family because you are a part of my family and knowing this saddens me too. What can comfort a bereaved family is knowing that ” there’s always a reason for everything.” MY LATE CONDOLENCES.

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    1. bff, i am very happy and privileged to read your comments here. you are one good writer whose works i have missed reading…
      thank you very much for the condolences. be they late or not, i know that you always have a very special way of making us feel loved. and that includes joseph.

      Like

    2. by the way, i hope i am FORGIVEN for this late notice on wandering jouster. would you care to joust with me, bff? hehehehehe…miss our looooooooooong talk, disco dancing, out-of-town adventures and misadventures, movie viewing marathons, concert watching, laughter, intellectual arguments, and others.

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    1. Amazing indeed! 🙂 🙂 I would say, you were also in luck in bumping into this article despite its poignancy.

      Thank you very much for this message, Josephine. I’ll surely relay it to Joseph. He has remained private, thus he has not been active in social media.

      Holiday Plaza is a very special and memorable workplace to my brother. It has helped him achieve his biggest dream.

      God bless you too.

      Again, many thanks for visiting my blog and dropping a note for our family.

      Like

  2. Appreciated… Anyway, everything has purpose.. Puede bah, tagalog nlang . haha.. na Nosebleed ako 🙂 My prayer for him na totally maka move on na sya. Oo more than 20 yrs. na. ako ng umalis ako sa Holiday Plaza, at after more trials sa buhay nakarating din dito sa Qatar, sa biyaya ni Lord. Sya nga pla. Puede pkisabi na Kung puede mag pagawa ng Plano ng Bahay at list maka less ng charge 🙂 Dnman gaano kalakihan at Kung Puede maki response nlang uli. Thank You Once Again..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agree ako dyan sa “Everything has a purpose”, Josephine. 🙂 Tayo ay mas nagiging matatag dahil sa mga pagsubok. Mas madaming pagsubok, mas blessed yata tayo lalo pag nalalampasan natin ang mga ito. May mga kaibigan at dating studyante akong nasa Doha, Qatar din.

      Nairelay ko na ang message mo kay Joseph. I also asked his permission if I could just give you his email address for your query.

      Pwede mo syang makontak sa hosepmedz@yahoo.com.

      Walang anuman at maraming salamat uli.

      Like

  3. Good morning 🙂
    Salamat.. Nagka Chat na kmi
    Sabi ko nga small world lng. Yes, mga pagsubok na hanggang ngayon d natatapos.
    Alam mo hanga nga ako syo napaka lakas mo ang dami kong natutunan, I hope someday magkita tyo Bicol lng. pla kyo sa Naga lng. din kmi 🙂
    Ipagpatuloy mo lng. ang kahanga hanga mong talino. God Bless.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy for your reconnection! 🙂I’m glad that this blog was instrumental for it.

      Thank you for the update, Josephine.

      Uy, Bicolana ka man palan tabi. Mabalos sa mga magagayon mong tataramon. 🙂

      Sana padagos kitang patnubayan kang Mahal na Dios. 🙏

      Like

  4. Thanks Mau,

    Sorry pla. actually taga Samar ako 🙂 husband ko lng. taga Burias Island kya lng.sa Naga kmi nakakuha ng Bahay sa Bagong bayan Norte, at mga Anak ko nag aral yong dalawa sa Ateneo de Naga at ang dalawa Sa UNC pero yong tatlo nakatapos na andito nrin sila sa Qatar nag wwork isa nlang naiwan sa Naga, graduating sya nxt. yr. God’s Grace.. Nakakaintindi ako ng kunti lng. ng salitang Bicol mga anak ko lng. marunong 🙂 Salamat.. Sa muli.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No worries, Josephine. You did a great choice on having your residence at the heart of Bicol. Two of the best schools ang Ateneo De Naga at UNC. Wow. Congratulations at nakapagpatapos na kayo ng mga anak. Walang anuman.

      Like

  5. Thanks Mau,

    Balang araw darating krin dyan, malaking kaluwagan din pag nakapag tapos na mga anak,

    By nxt. yr.desire ko nrin mag resign, mag isip nlang ng pag kakakitaan dyan sa pinas maliit na business.

    Nakakapagod nrin 17 yrs. na ako dito tapos nrin nman obligasyon ko 🙂 hayaan mo one day hihingi ako syo ng idea kpag nsa pinas na ako if possible 🙂 Thanks again…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Saludo ako sa iyong kasipagan at sakripisyo para sa pamilya mo, Josephine. Isa kang bayani.

      Pareho kayo ng plano ng asawa ko. Yung magtayo na lang ng business. Unfortunately, wala yata akong interest sa negosyo. 🙂

      Walang anuman.

      May the Lord see you through in fulfilling all your dreams, Josephine.

      Like

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